Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

Increase Positivity

September 2, 2019

The title of this post is identical to the title of a chapter in a book by a book by psychologist Barbara L. Fredrickson, “Positivity: Discover the Upward Spiral That Will Change Your Life.” The chapter begins with the following Cherokee parable:

One evening an Old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle
that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy jealousy,
sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“ The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth,
compassion, and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Sincerity matters. Take a moment to appreciate the word “Heartfelt.” To truly feel positivity in your heart requires that you slow down. The pace of modern life is often so relentless that it keeps you focused outward, away from your inner core. To increase your positivity, you’ll need to “un-numb” your heart. Let it feel. Let it be open. Slow yourself down enough so that you can see and hear and sense with your heart, not just with your eyes, ears, and mind. Let yourself breathe in and fully absorb the goodness that surrounds you. Connect to that goodness. Revel in it. Together with a sincere attitude, this slower pace unlocks your heartfelt positivity.

Find Positive Meaning. Finding positive meaning is always possible. Most of the circumstances we face are not 100% bad. So the chance to find the good, and honestly accentuate the positive meaning in your current circumstance, is always present, even if it’s simply to realize that “this too shall pass.” When you reframe unpleasant and even dire circumstances in a positive way, you boost the odds that positive emotions—like hope—will flow forth.

Savor Goodness. Another strategy for increasing positivity, perhaps obvious is to find the good within the good, by turning something positive into something even more positive. The author suggests calling this gold-plated positivity. She writes that savoring is a mental habit we can develop.

Count Your Blessings. By moving the riverbed of your habitual thought you can reframe something bad as something good and make good things even better. You can even do the same with seemingly ordinary things. You can take something flat, dull, and commonplace and make it sparkle. Oprah popularized the idea of keeping a gratitude journal. She encouraged people to write down five things they love each day.

Kindness Counts. There are at least two sides to kindness. When you count your blessings, you often appreciate how others have been kind to you and have elicited your gratitude. Recognizing your side of kindness is another simple and cost-free way to boost your positivity. Kindness and positivity feed own each other. Simply recognizing your own acts of kindness initiates an upward spiral.

Follow Your Passions. Give yourself permission to play. Find the activities that allow you to enter flow. Flow states are those peak moments in which you become fully absorbed in an activity, when the challenges of the activity are high and well-matched by your ever increasing skills. Some people enter into flow with their hobbies.

Dream About Your Future. Another way to boost your positivity is to dream more frequently about your future. Conjure up the best possible outcomes for yourself. Visualize your future successes in great detail. People who are assigned at random to carry out such an exercise show reliable increases in their positivity relative to those who carry out more mundane self-reflective actions.

Apply Your Strengths. People who have the opportunity to do what they do best—to act on their strengths—are far more likely to flourish. Research has shown that learning about your strengths can give you a high.

Connect with Others. Flourishing is not a solo endeavor. It’s scientifically correct to say that nobody reaches his or her full potential in isolation. Every person who flourishes has warm and trusting relationships with other people.

Connect with Nature. Natural environments may be as important to flourishing as social environments. So a very simple way to increase your positivity is to go outside.

Open Your Mind. Positivity and openness feed on each other, each triggering and reinforcing the other. This bidirectional link means that another level you can gasp to increase positivity is to be open. Be open and positivity will follow.

Open Your Heart. Whereas the practice of mindfulness meditation opens your mind, other age-old meditation practices seem to more directly unlock your heart. Practicing these other forms of meditation helps you experience your connections with others, bringing forth the deep and heartfelt positivity of community. The author suggest loving-kindness meditation. Enter “loving-kindness” into the search block at
healthymemory.wordpress.com to find relevant posts on this topic.

The Dalai Lama’s Approach to Religion

December 13, 2017

To be sure, the Dalai Lama’s understanding of the power of compassion comes from his deep spiritual reflections of human suffering and relief from that suffering. However, as a world leader, the Dalai Lama puts aside religion, ideology, or any faith-based belief system in seeking a foundation for this compassionate ethic. He notes that, for centuries, religion provided an ethical base—but with the spin-off of philosophy from theology, postmodernism, and the “death of God.” many people have been left with no absolute foundation for ethics. Moreover, so often the talk about ethics polarizes people who get hijacked by extreme voices, particularly when the discussion revolves around religious belief.

Those who cause the troubles we hear about in the daily news all too often invoke as justification one or another religion—whether Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, or any other. The Dalai Lama says, “then there are those narrow-minded believers who say all creatures are the same but emphasize their own faith, forgetting the larger perspective.”

He observes that “their actions show that ‘deep inside’ they do not take their own religion’s moral values seriously and so distort or carefully select some textual sources while ignoring others, to serve their own needs. If we lack basic conviction in the value of compassion, then the effect of religion will be quite limited.”

Religions have had thousands of years to promote ethics—and have often failed, he says. Besides, while selflessness and kindness are ideals found in most faith-based teachings, these virtues also exist in nonreligious ethical systems. He continues”there are countless people in the world who are concerned for all humanity and yet who do not have religion. I think of all the doctors and aid workers volunteering in such places as Darfur or Haiti or wherever there is conflict of natural disaster. Some of them may be people of faith, but many are not. Their concern is not for this group or that group but simply for human beings. What drives them is genuine compassion—the determination to alleviate the suffering of others.”

He seeks a morality of compassion that all agree upon: “My concern is the seven billion human beings alive now, including one billion nonbelievers.”